Laying Blame

You don’t blame the nerdy kid for being bullied because he’s smart. You don’t tell him to dumb himself down and avoid attention—you tell him that what he has is valuable, and to believe in his own self-worth.

You don’t blame the family whose home was burgled for having things worth stealing. You don’t tell them to stop buying or owning things worth having—you give them sympathy and help them replace what they’ve lost.

You don’t blame the person who was stabbed when they didn’t have what their muggers wanted. You don’t tell them to carry around valuables to appease their future attackers, or weapons to protect themselves—you help them heal.

You don’t blame an abused child for being afraid of their abuser. You don’t tell them that they should have fought back, or gotten away sooner—you protect them, and help them learn to trust again.

You don’t blame the homicide victim for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You don’t dismiss the tragedy because they provoked their attacker, or caught their attacker’s attention—you mourn for the life that was ended too early, and comfort the survivors as best you can.

So what the hell is wrong with you that you’d blame victims of sexual assault for what happened to them? Why do you assume that they “should have known better”—than to be out at night, to have said yes before, to draw attention to themselves, to wear “that” out of the house? Why is doubting what happened to them even a thought in your head? Why would you give the benefit of the doubt to the person who sexually assaulted someone else?

The only person responsible for sexual assault is the person who didn’t respect their partner’s consent. Period.

I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.

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