You ever just . . . have a really powerful urge? One that, no matter how hard you try to deny, or not to think about, just won’t die? One that, instead, grows stronger and more tantalizing with time?

I have one of those. It whispers to me, painting pretty pictures in my head, fantasies that all but beg to be made a reality. I think about all the times I could have, when it would have been just the thing to make a moment perfect and unforgettable. I try to actively avoid planning to do it in the future, fight not to give into temptation. But I can’t deny it:

I want to glitterbomb someone. So bad.

So, I think it’s officially going on my bucket list. Even though I think bucket lists are a patently stupid idea. So maybe I should just prep a glitterbomb and wait for an opportune moment. The only issue that I run into is logistics. How will I engineer this for optimum glitter dispersal? More importantly: how will I manage to run away when I’m going to be busting a gut laughing?

Because, yeah. If I glitterbomb someone, they will be finding glitter for the next three months. If they’re lucky. If they’re not lucky — or aren’t knowledgeable about proper glitter removal protocols–then they will probably be finding it for six to eight months.

*evil laugh* NO ONE IS SAFE! Well. No one will be safe, once I sort out the logistics, because once the practicalities are out the way, I just need to figure out who I’m going to ‘bomb.

(Thank you, Ruby, for reminding me of how much I want to do this.)


I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.


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