Making New Year’s resolutions is a tradition that I’ve always, well . . . it’s always felt hollow to me. If you really want to change your life, then put together a plan, and start taking steps. Waiting around for some magical day to kickstart your change seems ridiculous to me. However, I do understand that some people need that extra kick in the pants, or fresh start, etc., to get moving on something, and that’s fine. But it bothers me that it’s so culturally-entrenched it’s practically an expectation. Seriously, people look at me weird when I say that I don’t make resolutions.
I do, however, like to reflect on the last year on New Year’s Eve. Look back at what I’ve accomplished, what goals I set for myself that I achieved or didn’t, take stock of and be grateful for what I have. But I also try to decide if there’s something I want to do in the New Year, if there’s a particular area of personal growth I want to work on, or some unfinished business I want to wrap, a goal I want to see achieved that I didn’t last year. To me, that’s not a New Year’s resolution, because it’s part of the same process I go through year-round; I stop and evaluate my life and personal growth on a regular basis to see if there are changes I want to make, or milestones I want to celebrate. (Though I have to admit, I’m less good about the “celebrating” part than I am the “what’s next?” part.)
Thinking back on things, I have to admit that I’m a little disappointed my goals from last year remain unachieved. Only a little, though, because I did important growing in other areas — mostly health-related ones — that really needed my attention. And when I devoted my time and energy to it, I was able to make the changes that needed to be made, set some good habits, and started to see some results. So maybe I didn’t accomplish what I set out to in 2014, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t do something worthwhile.
But, because of the time of year, there has been something that’s really preying on my mind: writing. I’ve fallen off the writing wagon, and that needs to change. Not just because I have a blog with a few faithful readers (and you lovely people know who you are), not just because I want to go professional with the writing one day, but because it makes me happy. It’s good for me, for my sanity, to write often and push myself to do more and better. Is it hard work? Yeah, yeah it really is. Trust me when I say that I envy the buggers who can sit down and churn out a five to ten thousand words in a single sitting. I can’t. It takes a lot of practise and self-discipline for me to be able to get even a thousand words on a piece of paper in a day, never mind a single writing session.
But it’s worth it. For the way I feel after I’ve written something alone, it is worth it.
So my next big goal, the next long-term project that I’m going to try and tackle is writing. To make time to write consistently and frequently, because it is important to me and to what I want to do with my life. And also because I want to; I want, fucking badly, to be back here at The Hangover, putting out more blog posts and writing more of the Queer Tales and finishing the stories I’ve started and working through the amazing ideas that have bloomed in my head and that I’ve sketched out, but never finished. I want to.
And I hope that, if you decide you want to make goals or resolutions for the New year, that you pick something you want, too, rather than jumping on a bandwagon or picking something that you feel like you should do, but are probably only going to half-ass until February. Hopefully, if you set your sights on something that you want — a new experience, a trip you’ve always wanted to take, something you’ve always wanted to try but have always been too scared to — you’re going to keep pursuing it until you’ve accomplished what you set out too.
I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.