So, I was fired a few weeks back. Quite happily, if you want to know the truth.
No, I’m not nuts. Yes, I needed the money. But, see, here’s the thing: my boss was nuts. She was unorganized and inconsiderate, scatterbrained and flakey and inefficient. Every time I had to deal with her — whether in person or via phone/email — I had to choke down the urge to scream and the desire to murder her.
The really hilarious part is that she fired me after one day of work. One. A single day that started way too goddamn early, lasted way too blinkin’ long, did not pay anything like fuckin’ enough, was so slow I wanted to bleeding cry, and saw my job description change the morning of to include heavy lifting.
So, yeah. I got fired. And then I went and celebrated.
I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.