The Penis Post

Right, so. About a month ago, there was an incident with Alex and Friend-of-Alex, wherein my sexual orientation was confused with an inability to talk about male genitalia. (Full recounting of that incident is here.)

This led me to wonder aloud — in front of Ruby — how many euphemisms for “penis” we could come up with. So we decided to write a list:

1) cock
2) prick
3) dick
4) erection
5) shaft
6) member
7) trouser snake
8) love sausage
9) wang
10) man-meat
11) tackle
12) junk
13) wand
14) knob
15) broomstick
16) willy
17) sword
18) little Tom/Dick/Harry
19) second head
20) package
21) bulge
22) rod
23) Johnson
24) bits
25) Henry Longfellow
26) wood
27) hardness
28) staff
29) tab A (slot B)
30) sword of ecstasy
31) todger
32) tripod
33) kickstand
34) third leg
35) maleness

I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.

2 thoughts on “The Penis Post

  1. torrancemae says:

    I do believe “minge” is a vagina, otherwise, nice list 🙂

    • I looked it up, and you’re right. It seems I need to be more careful when appropriating British slang. 😛 It’s been fixed.

      Also: Thank you for reading, and especially for commenting!

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