I stood there, washing my hands after using the washroom, and caught sight of myself under the fluorescent lights, and promptly said:
“Cripes, if I get any whiter, I’ll have to declare myself a new race.”
Because, seriously. If I stay still too long, I might fool someone into thinking that I’m dead. I’m that white right now.
I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.