Snippet of an ACTUAL Conversation

Me (on the phone): ” . . . now that’s a whole other kettle of fish. *pause* Who would put fish in a kettle? Fish tea? Who decided that was a good idea?”
Milady: *silence of an amused kind*
Me: “What?”
Milady, sounding very, very fond: “Oh, just the way your mind works.”
Me: “I guess I’m lucky you love me, then.”

I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.

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