1) Monday mornings. They are evil and disgusting and come far too fucking early no matter what time you went to bed.
2) The Zombie Shuffle Monday mornings necessitate. Dear God, give me more time to sleep. And tea. And time.
3) Research papers. I much prefer to discuss, debate, and explore a topic or argument verbally, in a discussion post, or a literary essay. Having to track down all the necessary facts to support what I know/have already learned elsewhere is just a pain in the fucking ass. (Clarification: “fucking” here is used as an adjective relative to “ass”, not a compound noun.)
4) Low blood sugars. Seriously, they suck donkey dick. My vision goes wonky, I feel hot-and-cold, get dizzy and tired, my brain goes offline, and if enough of them get assed up under each other, I also get full-body aches. So: low blood sugars? Need to go die in a hole. Preferably one full of poison oak and rancid ditchwater.
5) That the Ministry of Magic destroyed all the Time-Turners after a certain someone who shall remain unnamed (*cough*Potter!*cough*) pulled shenanigans in the Department of Mysteries. A few extra hours in which I could fucking sleep would make all the difference. Really.
Note: this was written while still tits-deep in essays and deadlines and classes and other such shit. But, well, the fact remains that I still hate these things, I just get to be happy and avoid them for a while. Except number four. That shit’s still going down.
I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.