Planetlessness Is A Thing

We have all, at one time or another, known someone who suffered from temporary planetlessness. Many dismiss it, but I’m sure that they know, deep down, that it is real and occasionally quite serious. Falling off the face of the Earth is nothing to scoff at.

When those near and dear to us succumb to planetlessness, it is imperative that one confirm the diagnosis before devolving into hysterics. Simple busyness, illness, and other Life Happens moments must be ruled out before planetlessness can be confirmed. Once it is, however, inter-galactic search teams should be assembled.

Now, I say this not to knock those who have become planetless. It can happen to the best of us. And, well, sometimes it is even beneficial to experience a spell of planetlessness. I am not, of course, referring to those people whom one wishes to intentionally avoid, such as ex-lovers and users. In those cases, it only appears to be a case of planetlessness, while it is—in reality—a whole different kettle of fish.

(Though, now I have to wonder, who puts fish in a kettle? Was that saying invented by some madman who made fish tea? Where on Earth—or off of it, for that matter—did that saying originate?)

I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.

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