So, the other night, I was video-chatting on Skype with my best friend Ruby. These conversations are always interesting, juggling time zones and the subtle differences between American and Canadian culture—and that’s without touching on what we talk about.
And somehow, our conversation segued into being crazy. Or, to use the colloquialism, having lost one’s marbles. I paused to muse for a moment before brightly announcing that I had a great big tub of marbles as a kid, and I think I still have them somewhere. As I went off to check—and it turned out that I not only had them, I also knew exactly where they were—I could hear Ruby laughing in the background.
When I returned with my bucket of marbles and began pulling out the loveliest of my collection to show her, she started howling. When I tried to find the little metallic one, insisting that it was right there, I saw it, I didn’t lose it, she started crying she was laughing so hard. Up until this point, I was just being my own enthusiastic, off-the-wall little self. But when I saw how hard Ruby was laughing, I decided to go with the gag.
I pouted, and asked why she was laughing at me. I whined, and told her to stop laughing at me, because it wasn’t that funny. (Of course, at this she just laughed harder.) And then, the coup de grace, I hugged the bucket of marbles to my chest and insisted in my best pouty-child tone, “My marbles are going away now because you don’t appreciate them.” And then I stomped away to put them back.
So, there you have it. One of the great secrets of one of my greatest friendships: I sometimes do absolutely ridiculous shit just to make her laugh. And laugh she did—her face ached, her ribs hurt, and she cried she was laughing so hard. It gives me great personal satisfaction being the person who can bring that kind of light into my loved ones’ lives.
Oh, and secret number two: I still have my marble collection from when I was five.
I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.