Dear Writer’s Block . . .

We have been over this. Many, many times. You come around, outstay your welcome, and then I get mad and kick you out. You retreat to I-don’t-give-a-monkey’s-left-nut where, and all is once again right with the world. That is, right up until you show your ugly (unwanted) mug for the quadrillionth time, and we start all over again at the beginning.

Seriously—does this not get old for you? Because it has gotten so far past old for me that the routine had wrinkles and dentures the third time we went through this rigmarole. I’m thinking that you need to just . . . let go. You will find someone who’s right for you eventually, I promise. But I’m not her.

Now leave before I get nasty. Your restraining order against me expired a few weeks ago, and I’m about to take full advantage.


I think this goes without saying, but as we live in a world of rampant asshattery, please allow me to state for the record: this is my intellectual property. As such, please do not copy, circulate, edit, alter, take credit for, or otherwise appropriate this material without my express permission. Thank you.

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